If you haven't seen the first film in the Kingsman franchise: Kingsman: The Secret Service, then you need to sort that out. While it may look like a kids movie prima facie, it's full of tawdry humour and schoolboy wit that makes it impossible to dislike, but especially for one joke (warning snowflakes: spoiler alert ahead). The film, ahem, 'climaxes', with our hero 'Eggsy' (Taron Egerton) running off to fight the villainous Richmond Valentine (Samuel L Jackson), despite having just met the beautiful Princess Tilde (Hanna Alsrom) of Sweden, to whom he intimates his desire to kiss. Without hesitation, the megababe of a princess promises that if he saves the world, she'd do more than just kiss him, and that they could 'do it in asshole'.
Of course Eggsy saves the world, and the very final scene is a coquettish smile from the Swedish heiress to the camera, before she rolls over and exposes her bare cheeks to our hero – staying true to her word.
When the sequel was announced, true fans everywhere wondered if they could top this level of filth, and boy have they.
In what has now been dubbed 'the Glastonbury scene' by the internet, Eggsy finds himself having to save the world a second time in the sequel Kingsman: The Golden Circle. Though he's, by this stage, engaged to Princess Tilde, he's still a man on a mission, and finds himself having to consort with the enemy, Clara (Poppy Delevigne) in a tent at a music festival (Glastonbury, duh). Having to plant a tracking device somewhere in her person via a mucous membrane (you can see where this is going), he slips a finger cot with the tracker over his favourite digit and the camera follows his hand down her ribcage and stomach, across her bellybutton and into her panties. In what can only be described as a good old fashioned music festival fingerblast (and hey – we've all been there), director Matthew Vaughn has managed to make this instalment even filthier than its predecessort, if not for how much they willingly show on screen, then for the highly graphic CGI of the camera entering Delevigne's punani – something you can't unsee (and don't want to).
If you want further proof that finger actually goes inside her: consider the fact that they used her husband's actual hand for the filming. Nice bloody work, Kingsman.