Dating in the modern world can be an absolute headfuck. While it’s much easier to meet people thanks to the rise of dating apps, swiping left or right has created an entirely new set of problems. Dating has become a disposable commodity where people are quick to move onto someone better without explanation or remorse.
If they haven’t replied to a text in three days are they still keen? Why are they liking your Instagram pictures but not sending you messages? Why do you get random messages from someone four months after meeting even though you both agreed there’s no spark?
These new dating behaviours have sparked a rise in viral terms to describe what’s going on. From the common ghosting to the more intriguing zombieing, here’s a guide to five modern-day dating terms to help you navigate and avoid any potential relationship disasters.
Ghosting is the absolute pits. The most well-known term in modern dating lingo, ghosting occurs when a person you’ve been communicating with, be it via text, phone or in person, suddenly disappears without a trace. Just when you think you’ve found the one, they vanish and you’re left wondering what went wrong. Ghosting leaves you with more questions than answers and without closure, making it a cruel way to break it off with someone.
The next step up from ghosting, haunting occurs when a person continues to interact with someone via social media without actually communicating, It’s usually of a passive nature, such as liking Instagram posts or watching Snapchat stories. This way you are subconsciously thinking about this person without them actually communicating with you, which is pretty fucked up and something nobody wants to experience.
Breadcrumbing is similar to haunting in that it’s a way to keep people interested in you without actually committing to any form of relationship. Breadcrumbing involves sending random texts or flirtatious Snapchat’s to keep a person interested, even though you might not be that keen. It’s a form of emotional manipulation and is often used by people wanting to keep your options open and another terrible product of online dating.
Stashing is another trend that hits hard when you find out it’s being done to you. If you’ve been in a relationship with someone for a number of months and introduced them to your friends and family but they haven’t done the same then, unfortunately, you’re a victim of stashing. In essence, you’ve been “stashed” away from the people who matter, so the other person can keep your relationship separate from their daily life, often because the other person is dating other people or on the lookout for new relationships. This one is pretty rotten and something you never want done to you.
If you’ve been ghosted by someone and receive a text or phone call from them out of the blue, it’s known as submarining, with zombieing taking this to the next level. Zombieing usually occurs months or even years after you’ve stopped seeing someone and is usually perpetrated by a person from your past life, like they’ve come back from the dead, hence the term zombieing. The main difference between submarining and zombieing is the first occurs weeks or months after the initial breakup with the person acting like nothing happened, whereas zombieing is often done by past lovers looking for a second chance a romance.