Acupuncture, massage, topical pain relievers, a better mattress, an addiction to pain meds...there's a variety of ways you can go about dealing with a sore back.
However, one dude in Ireland has taken matters into his own hands and tried to fix his chronic back pain by injecting semen into his veins.
What a time to be alive.
According to the doctors, the 33-year-old showed up to the Tallaght University Hospital in Dublin complaining of severe back pain and a swollen arm.
The man had recently given himself three "doses" of semen, intravenously and intramuscularly, but the semen had pooled in the soft tissue of his forearm.
Spoiler: injecting jizz into your bicep will make your back pain pale in comparison to the subcutaneous abscess you've just gifted your entire forearm.
The man bought a hypodermic needle online and used it to inject the cum every month, over a year and a half, so, 18 loads.
We can't help but wonder the details of whether it was injected at room temperature or was it refrigerated first before liquifying it in a spoon like some crazed cum junkie.
We've all consulted Dr Google for random aches, pains and the occasional crotch sore (which always turns out to be an ingrown hair), but I can honestly say we've never self-diagnosed and come to the conclusion the necessary treatment was to shoot up sperm.
What inspired this man's innovation is unknown. Though he told doctors he came up with the cure himself.
Doctors gave the man some antimicrobial medicine (not an IV drip of sperm as he might have preferred) and it's said that his back pain improved dramatically during his stay at the hospital.
I guess the lesson of this story is that chronic back pain is a tough nut to crack.
Talk about toxic masculinity.