Massage as foreplay is one of those predictable sex tips that everyone knows, but few know how to actually deliver a good one. A good massage can bridge the gap between great conversation and hot sex (and can sometimes feel even better than sex). Done right, a massage can be as erotic as it gets.
We spoke to Arianna Gold – an Australian-based professional erotic masseuse who has rubbed her way into the minds of thousands of men. Arianna gave us the low down on how to harness a golden touch and deliver a memorable massage.
Hi Arianna, what do you enjoy about erotic massage?
Erotic massage is a powerful combination of relaxation, eroticism and the slow tease. For me, erotic massage is about spoiling from head to toe. Massage allows for maximum contact and maximum visual delights.
What’s the benefits of erotic massage?
Sexy massages are a real treat. They’re a stress-reliever and they stimulate the brain as much as they stimulate the erogenous zones. I can’t stress the benefits enough. They’re a great way to keep you and your partner connected, as well as just being sexy fun for you and a playmate (or you and me…).
Do you find there is a difference between massaging men and women?
Definitely. Men and women experience arousal very differently. Men are stimulated physically far more easily, whereas women require a little extra care. A woman’s biggest sex organ is her mind and unfortunately this is too often overlooked by men.
For the men who might be reading this, what is the first step to giving a massage to a woman?
Make her feel comfortable. A drawn-out full body massage is the perfect way to relax a woman before sex. And no, I don’t mean a long vajayjay massage. I literally mean a full body rub down with massage oil. No touching the vajayjay Not yet anyway. And of course, atmosphere counts!
What’s the best way to set the atmosphere for an erotic massage?
Set the scene for sexy times. Dim the lights – everyone looks better in candlelight. Scented candles, soft sexy music and have the massage oil at the ready. Wine helps! Too much will dull the nerve endings for her though. Stick to a glass of her favourite. Also, make sure the space where you are massaging her is clean and free of clutter.
Do you need a massage table to give a good massage?
A comfy bed is just as effective but massage tables can be really comfortable and add to the roleplay factor. You can get second hand ones for cheap on Gumtree.
What should you use to massage? Baby oil?
No! Never use baby oil ever! Many women take great care of their bodies, inside and out, and petroleum-based products are toxic to humans. Any woman worth her green morning smoothie knows this! Go to a natural health shop and spend some coin on all natural massage oil. If you plan on touching her vajayjay, know that essential oils, fragrance and flavour all destroy the pH balance of the delicate lady garden and are therefore not welcome. The best choices for massage oil are coconut oil and nut oils. Macadamia nut oil is my favourite. My other top choice is a water dispersible professional massage oil that I pick up from massage supply shops. Zero fragrance and water dispersible!
How much oil is too much oil?
Be liberal. The feeling of oiled up skin is magic and the visuals of slippery skin is incredible hot. Some oils can also act as lube but I would recommend using actual lube, especially if you’re fond of arse play - stick to lube for that one.
What’s something that is usually overlooked when it comes to giving a massage?
One word… hygiene. I could dedicate an entire novel to this! Most women are going to prefer being spread-eagled after a shower. Fresh is best for all involved. Your partner will feel at her sexiest and more likely to try anything. Worship every inch of her wet shiny skin with your hands and be amazed at how your self-control shocks and teases her.
Should you talk when giving a massage or is it a passion killer?
I think communication is sexy. When giving an erotic massage, I find it really sexy to tell the person you’re massaging what you’re going to do them every sexy step of the way. I call it ‘signposting’. Bonus tip – after you’ve told her you’d like to give her a massage, text your intentions to her in little bits during the day. Sexting when done right – no cock shots thanks – adds to the tease. For example, if she’s at work, text her, “Honey, as soon as you get home, I’m going to undress you slowly, then hand you a glass of Pinot to enjoy while I run the bath. Then, I want you to perch on the edge of it while I take some time to rub your shoulders while you breathe out your day. By the end of the night, I want you to feel completely satisfied”. Also, don’t hesitate to tell her what you find sexy about her… and that later tonight you won’t stop licking her into a frenzied orgasm after orgasm until she begs you to.
At what point should the massage stop and the sex begin?
Only after a full hour of massaging every part of your partner’s body should you delve between her legs. With that being said, if she’s not panting, heavy breathing and raising her booty to the sky by the time your hour is up, ask for direction. In 95 per cent of cases, she’ll be wetter than a slippery dip in summer. Whisper in her ear, “How do you want me to touch you?” Women masturbate just as much as men do - we just don’t talk about it as much. Encourage your playmate to take the reins and show you what she likes. Watch and learn. Don’t go on autopilot and avoid your go-to routine. Mix it up but keep coming back to those inner thigh soft kisses and licks.
For people who have mastered the art of basic erotic massage, what’s next?
Take your massages to the next level by incorporating sensory deprivation elements into the mix. Think: bondage with soft silk restraints and scarves, blindfolds, delicious food eaten directly off the skin and shared (such as blueberries and chocolate) or even bubbly champagne spilled over the breasts and trickled down the stomach. Let’s just say that cold bubbles are surprisingly stimulating…
Schedule a massage with Arianna at the Penthouse Concierge.
Read more about Arianna Gold at ariannagold.com.