According to science, at least, evolutionary behavioural science, not only will a girl find you more attractive if you drive a high-status car, you are 3 times more likely to get a girl’s number in that same vehicle. Think about it. No matter how you look, if you drive a nice vehicle, a chick will find you more attractive. She will also perceive you as taller, even if you aren’t. No, it’s not because woman are inherently shallow, but are likely predisposed to be hypergamous, or ‘marry up’. At least, that’s what Gaad Saad, author of “The Evolutionary Bases of Consumption” and “The Consuming Instinct” claims. So, if you’re in the business of getting laid and you’ve got a spare million of fifteen lying around, grab one of these.
1959 Ferrari 250 GT LWB California Spider by Scaglietti
“Hang on, let me check my bank account,” must’ve been the remark made by the last owner for one of the most prized early model Ferrari’s available. US $15m is the chump change necessary to fulfil every Ferris Bueller fantasy of rocketing around the streets of Chicago and deceiving not only your dad, but your principal, fine dining maître de, and friends into believing you are just the damned coolest kid in school (even though Ferris objectively was).
The Ferrari 250 GT Spider was a production line sports model produced during the early heydeys of the Ferrari Company between 1953 and 1964. Quickly becoming the company’s most successful model, it lives on in the hearts of enthusiast collectors and tardy high school pranksters.
Its latest owner has had the machine restored to its full potential and the accumulation of every motoring award for its class makes for one highly reputable bad ass vehicle. Don’t let yourselves drift into wonderment at the long turning Italian roads, or the Malibu beach front highways she’s seen; this particular stallion has only accumulated 32,000km on the clock; a tamed beast. Kind of like marrying Christy Mack and learning all her scenes was CGI and she’s basically a virgin (please?).
The Mercedes-Maybach 6 Cabriolet
The Mercedes-Maybach 6 Cabriolet has been designed like a woman of fashion. Long lines, reinterpreted design filled with classic proportions. The two seat cabriolet is slender with power, fierce yet agile. Wicked yet refined. Draped inside and out with glorious automotive haute couture. A vision of sensual purity and intelligent grace, fitted with an eco-friendly electric motor that powers up to 750 hp.
Portraying art deco design with a long hood of flowing lines, the Mercedes-Maybach 6 makes a statement as it comes into view. A sporty and stretched body design reinterprets aesthetic principle; the design strategy of old world subtlety combined with contrasting modern forcefulness and a need to be seen.
From within its interior one could imagine they are seated on the deck of a Riviera yacht. A full and unencumbered 360° open-air view is generous and brings interior and exterior idioms of style and grace together for a holistic feel.
Frankly, the Mercedes-Maybach 6 Cabriolet is a standalone model of luxury. It makes one pine to offer it a tender touch, a foot to the floor, along with an open road. The driver’s past racing away in the rear-view mirror with only the future lying ahead. It’s fuckin’ poetry, man.
Pop culture gave us a preview of life as a baller in the private jet context when Far East Movement described just that they were feeling so fly “Like a G6”. We all wondered just what that would be like (and, in most cases, what the fuck that even meant). But now Gulfstream has unveiled their new G650, re-engineering and redesigning the G5 range that precluded it for maximum in-flight comfort and capabilities. And it’s a total baller.
Boasting all the mod-cons of its previous models, the G650 seems to cram every aspect of comfort and personalised decadence internally as much as it has re-engineered its outer capabilities to provide a faster, quieter, more comfortable personal jet. A feature list reads like a tech-head's dream; high-speed connectivity, multi-channel satellite connection, HD technology and wireless local network makes the cabin more business-ready than most modern offices. Leather recliners for 19 passengers, panoramic windows, and bed space for 10 on long flights fill its interior.
The true nature of this jet is clear when considering the new engineered wings that have been designed for lower drag and an innovative and highly efficient air foil that optimises speed and an incredibly smooth ride. This is a jet that’s designed to travel farther, faster. Priced within the range of a millionaire hobbyist, rock star, or Arab Sheik, this baby ain’t cheap. For now, I’m going to throw on a little Far East Movement and pop bottles on the ice.
Tonino Lamborghini Alpha One
Ok, phones usually aren’t found at the top of ‘panty dropper’ lists, but the Tonino Lamborghini Alpha One looking to change that, and it’s probably the closest most of us come to driving one of these pure beasts of moto-engineering madness. Sleek lines, powerful roaring engines, and a Victoria Secret model sidled in the passenger seat are all standard features, right? When I think of Lamborghini, I sure as shit don’t think of smartphones.
Lamborghini has done just that, though. They have entered the handheld technology market with a stylish and fitting smart phone, the Alpha One. And it’s not a complete dog.
Parading as elegant and exclusive, Lamborghini continues their push for consumer opulence. That’s not even my own opinion; the company blatantly advertises that the Alpha One is a, “worthy addition to the image of a successful person”. Hired Donald Trump to do their ad copy did they...
Boasting the high processing power of the Qualcomm Snapdragon 820 processor keeps the brand on par for superior powerhouse engines under the hood. Add in an Adreno 530 graphic accelerator alongside 4 GB of ram, this may just be the super charge for a turbo-embellishment of masculine phallocentrism, with the ability to call mum.
It’d be easy to get lost in the technobabble aspects of the Alpha One, and nobody really gives a shit, let's be honest. A Lamborghini is as much about its drivability as it is its’ looks. Cased in custom hand-stained leather with gilded edges that aim to protect against cracks or damage, far above its competitors. Like all Lamborghinis, the Tonino Lamborghini Alpha One is decidedly going to be a head turner - albeit an exclusively expensive one.
If you’ve ever wanted a home that screams ‘high and mighty’ then building your dwelling on a hill overlooking one of the world’s most picturesque landscapes may just be the answer. This is the ‘Fyren House’, located in Halifax, Canada. Designed as a ‘beacon on a hill’, the Fyren House is architect Omar Gandhi's expression of modernism in wild, natural surrounds – kinda like where Bear Grylls might live, but without the part where you drink your own piss.
The house is situated in Purcell's Cove, one of Halifax’s most remote regions, with vistas of Point Pleasant Park which continue out into the open ocean. Sharp angles and metal cladding feature heavily over three floors. The lowest entry-level is reserved for storage, while the middle-level houses sleeping quarters, and the top floor (with the best ever views) is for living areas.
All living spaces are open and flooded with sunlight, which bounces off the light, pale tones and natural wood grain, further making this house a badass pad that adeptly blends nature with industrial edge, and looks like exactly the kind of place we’d like to take a case of whisky, a trailer load of books and be left the fuck alone for a month.
When it comes to the concept of premium, cashed-up competitors can look like they’re in the middle of the world’s most pointlessly opulent pissing contest. We’ve seen the most expensive cocktail in the world priced north of $22k due to the 1 carat diamond garnishing (albeit a fairly subpar mix of vodka with a lime twist. Fucking wow). This sort of opulence is for the wealthy and foolhardy (read: rich morons).
Super cars and bikes are a different game altogether, though. For the hundreds of thousands of De Niros you spend, you should at least be able to purchase high speeds that will carry you away from your poor money handling – no?
Priced at US $300,000 the Ecosse Titanium series has taken the whole damn cake for the title as ‘World’s Most Expensive Production Bike’. That’s, like, five new Holden Commodores. More. One for each of your boys. And an Astra for your mistress.
Incredibility aside, the Ecosse Titanium series does boast some pretty tricked-out bits. It’s clearly a custom and artisan build. Starting from the ground up, almost every piece of machinery and refinery is custom engineered for the benefit of a lucky few. The company comments that it’s been “designed for discerning enthusiasts”. If you’re one of those who have the down payment on a penthouse suite just burning away in your pocket, and like to feel the wind in your toupee – because let’s be honest, this is a mid-life crisis machine – perhaps a trip to Scotland for a test drive will really get your dick hard.
Wait. Brad Pitt has one. Okay, we love it after all.