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Dear Health Bureaucrats: We Are Sick Of Your Shit
Opinion|Sep 30, 2021

Dear Health Bureaucrats: We Are Sick Of Your Shit

We Are Trying To Feel That We Still Have A Life, While Not Actually Having A Life. 
Penthouse Staff

Dear Health Bureaucrats, 

We are sick and tired of your flip-flopping advice. 

One day we are told that lockdowns are crucial to get us out of this crisis, the next we’re advised they are to be a last resort. On Monday, we are told that the Astra Zeneca vaccine is safe and should be accepted by anyone in an outbreak area. Hours later, a different medical talking head tells us she does not want certain ages to get this vaccine. 

On Tuesday, we are told to “trust the science”. 

On Wednesday, we are re-advised to “trust the data”… which contradicts the science.

By Thursday, we’re almost relieved to be in lockdown so we can have a lie down. 

You see, if you want people to listen to you, and take your advice, it would be marvellously helpful if you could put your heads together and decide what your official advice will be. 

We cannot keep up. 

We are exhausted. 

We are trying to feel that we still have a life, while not actually having a life. 

And we are all sick and tired of this lingering cloud of doom, too. 

We are told that coronavirus is a pandemic and we should all stay home to avoid certain death. 

Meanwhile, we see other countries opening up, throwing giddy parties, getting their lives back while we’re looking at the actual statistics in front of us and scratching our heads. 

Recently released ABS (Australian Bureau of Statistics) figures do not actually indicate a huge increase in deaths. 

We have had a total of under 1000 COVID deaths across all of Australia so far in 2021; do you advice givers think we are not keeping up with the news? 

Is this about science or is it all about politics, control and propaganda?ABS figures show one in five Australians are experiencing high or very high levels of psychological distress. That’s not from COVID, is it? That’s actually from lockdowns, being separated from loved ones, and having to close the doors on small businesses (again). People are feeling exhausted for no reason, nervous, hopeless, depressed, worthless. That’s not from COVID, either, is it? That’s from leaders who are pressing the panic button and jolting an entire country from pause to play depending on their mood. 

A cluster of irritating bureaucrats turned pundits are scrapping it out for daily airtime across the embarrassing fearmongering platforms we are unfortunate enough to call mainstream media. 

Who decided that COVID politics was the way forward? 

Is this about science or is it all about politics, control and propaganda? 

Are we talking science or subjectivity? 

In launching Norman Swan as the unofficial health spokesman on the(ir) ABC, our own national broadcaster has been running parallel commentary since day one of this nightmare. 

Remember when he predicted last year that we would soon be seeing 70,000-80,000 cases every day? Cast your mind back to when he said we were 14-20 days behind Italy (which has now had over 128,000 deaths)? 

While South Australia’s Nicola Spurrier warned footy fans against catching an imaginary infectious football, some insisted on wearing masks to ‘send a message’ rather than clearly stating realistic health benefits. 
State Premiers and eager sidekicks have relentlessly put politics before the national interest.  

In short, it’s a shambles. 

Even if you muster the energy to change channel, all you get is different talking head giving a different version of the same nightmare. Is it any wonder people are confused? 

They don’t know who to trust anymore. 

This pandemic may well be a once in a hundred year’s event, and it may well not be of your making, but if you want anyone to continue to listen to your advice from this point, you would be wise to get your story straight. 

Yours truly,

Penthouse Magazine