Dear people who love to ghost,
Now then, how do we put this politely? Before some smart arse (who was more than likely a leftie) decided that we needed to give the cultural phenomenon of ending a relationship without explanation it’s very own fancy term, there was a word for people like you. It begins with r and is a tad less affectionate than dude.
The word is rude.
Why? Because ghosting is offensive and impolite.
Ghosting may be on trend in this whizzy, fast-paced, non-committal world we find ourselves living in, but is not socially acceptable; it never was and never should have become a thing.
Don’t do it.
It’s not okay; not in business, and neither is it acceptable in relationships.
At work, if someone presses send on a bulk blitz of information, sure, file it in the bin or delete it as you please.
But, if someone has put time and effort into specifically contacting you and you have engaged, don’t just go silent.
Is it really that hard to type something along the lines of, ‘thanks but this right isn’t for us’?
The answer you’re looking for is no. In the same amount of time it’s taken you to make that decision not to pursue, you could have multi-tasked and typed two little words, such as ‘no thanks’, at very little inconvenience to your hectic schedule.
Yes, you’re busy, we’re all busy. We’re all juggling more than we wish, we’re all pressed for time, and we all get annoyed by the persistent emails that land inconveniently in our over-crammed inboxes that we wish we could keep on top of, let alone clear. If you’ve started an email convo with someone, finish it; don’t just abandon it mid-flow because, stuff.
In friendships: if you’ve enjoyed spending time together at some point, how on earth do you sleep at night if you suddenly decide to pull the pin and go silent? Spare a thought for the other person’s feelings.
And in relationships?
Isn’t it sad that we have arrived at such an all-time low point where we need to actually explain why withdrawing from all communication is unacceptable?
Imagine sitting down for dinner with someone and then leaving mid-meal.
Imagine starting a conversation, pushing your chair back mid-sentence and walking away.
You wouldn’t do it because you’d look like a selfish, entitled prick.
And that, dear ghosters, is essentially what you’re doing when you decide to terminate communication.
This is the grown-up version of a toddler throwing toys across the room, folding their arms across their chest and refusing to speak. No, it’s not closure.
Furthermore, it’s cruel, insensitive, humiliating and incredibly disrespectful.
Can you step out of your blinkered, arrogant little world for just a few seconds to imagine what you’re doing to someone’s mental health? And how about their self-esteem?
Seriously, take a look at yourself. Who do you think you are?
We may spend the majority of our lives behind screens these days, but there are still human beings behind those screens, operating those keyboards, with feelings, emotions and frustrations.
Man up, speak up and take just a few minutes to speak your blinking mind.
It’s really not hard.
No, of course, we’re not talking about times when you’re being harassed or your safety is in danger.
Neither are we talking about continuing communications with those online stalkers who repeatedly insist on disrespecting your polite requests to refrain from further messages.
You know the difference.
Tap into your conscience and ask yourself, is there someone I’m ghosting that I should really respond to?
And if you should, do so.