What’s the deal with polyamory? Well, for starters it’s far more stimulating than airline food and it’s remarkably easy to form your own bowling team. If you’re accustomed to having only one playmate at a time, you probably harbour some misconceptions about what exactly a polyamorous relationship entails. The word is based on the Greek and Latin term for ‘many loves’ and means partaking in numerous romantic relationships at the same time, with the awareness and permission of everyone involved. There’s no element of cheating. An open relationship is a variation where those involved are allowed to take new partners if they so choose. The terms both fall under the umbrella category of “ethical non-monogamy,” but are not interchangeable.
Some 'polys' identify as swingers, but that doesn’t apply to everyone. The key difference between polyamory and swinging is that in polyamory there is a focus on love and the emotional relationship with other partners, whereas swinging is often recreational copulation, with an emphasis on remaining emotionally available to your main squeeze. Confused yet? You should be. To alleviate that state of befuddlement, we took the time to interview a polyamory enthusiast and lifestyle participant. Daisy is a 21-year-old bisexual woman entangled in a polyamorous network. Although that isn’t her real name, it belongs to her erotic masseuse persona.
When queried about the dynamic of her network, she had this to say, “There are so many benefits. I find that since I work in the adult industry, it really suits my lifestyle. I can come home after lathering myself in massage oil and sliding around on a stranger’s back to joke about it with everyone.” In terms of the jealously factor, Daisy said it varied from person to person. But for her own personal network, open communication is key for preventing the toxic attitude. “I have five different partners at the moment, but I’m hoping to recruit a sixth member.”
When queried about the vetting process, Daisy mentioned that it typically ignites with Tinder, the dating app. “When I start chatting to someone I’m attracted to, I’m always upfront about my lifestyle choices. It’ll either scare them into submissive silence or they’ll think I’m a pretty cool new wave chick.” Daisy continued by saying she had recently taken a girl on an ice skating date (just the two of them) and that she intended to introduce her slowly to each member of the network. “The whole process can be a bit daunting. When I present her to the others, it’ll feel a bit like a debutante…”
Daisy revealed they even go on double, triple and quadruple dates together. In the community, there is a concept known as ‘fluid bonding’ which means you only have unprotected sex with one person in your network. Quite literally jelly-wresting in the bodily juices. However, they still schedule monthly STI tests together just to be safe, reminiscent of an excursion. Someone in the Daisy chain is bound to slip up eventually. Humans by their very nature aren’t inherently disciplined she acknowledged this.
“The brain has the capacity to love more than one person and once people realise that, we’ll edge closer to becoming accepted by the wider community.” Well spoken, Daisy.